


“I’m your husband. It’s my job.”

by yikesola



Series: tumblr ficlet prompts [27]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2017, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: Dan’s made a lot of purchases that he’s actually rather proud of. And many which he absolutely regrets, except for the fact that the retail therapy at the time was helpful in its way.A ficlet about fashion and irony.





	“I’m your husband. It’s my job.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue Prompt: “I’m your husband. It’s my job.”

Dan’s made a lot of purchases that he’s actually rather proud of. And many which he absolutely regrets, except for the fact that the retail therapy at the time was helpful in its way. But he’s standing in this brief reprieve from the Florida heat as the aircon from the shop blasts around him, staring at the size 14 women’s nightie, and he just can’t get away from the idea that he needs to own it. He _needs_ to! The cats are bloody astronauts for fuck’s sake— the back of the shirt shows the backs of the cats! It’s the most perfect goddamn garment he’s ever seen and he has to own it. 

He hides it from Phil’s view and from the other Lesters until he gets up to the register. Sometimes Dan gets talked out of more ridiculous purchases but he’s unwilling to risk this one. 

Once he has handed over some dull green American bills, double checking the number in the corner because they all look the freaking same, and the shirt belongs to him, he calls Phil over and beams. 

“Look at the little kitten in the helmet on the back!” Phil smiles. 

“It’s unironically the coolest thing I own.”

“Look out, leather shirt,” Phil teases, “you’ve been replaced.” 

Dan rolls his eyes. “Why do you never let me forget my ironic fashion crimes?” 

“I’m your husband. It’s my job.” Phil boops his nose during the stunned moment where Dan froze after hearing the word _husband_. 

“One, not my husband—”

“—yet!” 

Dan kicks him in the shin then continues, “Two, if you don’t watch it, I’m gonna wear one of those fashion crimes to the wedding.” 

“Oh yes, that’ll show me! Standing at the altar in paisley Gucci pyjamas and your denim Gatorland hat,” Phil laughs. 

“Just take a picture of me in this, Lester,” Dan says as he slips the nightie on over his t-shirt and steps outside the shop, into the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/187377580754/im-your-husband-its-my-job) !


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